He broke up with me thrice. What’s the matter? Ask Ellie


QMy boyfriend simply dumped me — for the third time! We met two summers in the past working as lifeguards at our neighborhood centre. I favored him instantly, however he was aloof. I discovered he had a girlfriend. So, I performed it cool, and we turned actually shut associates.

We maintained our friendship via social media within the fall. Then I heard he and his girlfriend cut up up. We by no means mentioned her. Per week later, we obtained collectively. Our relationship was going easily for a few month. Then he dumped me. No rationalization.

I heard he was again together with his ex. I used to be damage. Our friendship cooled. We didn’t communicate a lot for the remainder of the yr. Then he reached out asking if I used to be working on the neighborhood centre once more. I already had my job lined up and advised him so.

The day we began, he advised me he and his ex had been executed for good, and he needed to be again with me. We had an superior summer time. We had been inseparable and so in love. On the final day of labor, he broke up with me as a result of he was going away to a unique college out of city. I used to be shocked and confused why he hadn’t advised me earlier than.

Two weeks after faculty began, he invited me out to see him. He mentioned he missed me, our friendship and our relationship. I went, and it was as if we had by no means parted methods. Again to being “us,” having a lot enjoyable and feeling a lot love.

We spent the previous three months doing the long-distance factor, and it’s been high quality. Till in the present day. He simply texted me to not come this weekend, that he can’t proceed this relationship, and many others.

What am I lacking?

Dumped, Dumped, and Dumped


What you’re lacking is that this man, although he could genuinely have had emotions for you, is a egocentric participant who’s extra involved with what makes him pleased within the second. You clearly made him pleased when collectively, however the relationship wasn’t deep sufficient for him to place in any effort.

You’re younger and have years of relationships forward of you. Don’t let different individuals determine what’s best for you. In case you like somebody, go for it. In the event that they’re not best for you, transfer on. Know you’re price, and don’t let others use you.

FEEDBACKRelating to the girl invited to dinner events the place she will be able to’t eat what’s been cooked (Oct. 25):

Reader No. 1:“Essentially the most logical resolution for the girl with dairy points, assuming she is lactose illiberal, is to pop a Lactaid or every other such non-prescription tablet prior to those dinner events. Given these dinners should not a each day occasion, every so often shouldn’t be an issue. Each she and the hostess can loosen up understanding it’s lined.

“I too am lactose illiberal. Milk, cream and ice cream are my no-nos. If my dessert is plated for me with ice cream included, I pawn it off to my hubby or settle for the intestinal fallout. If I do know upfront concerning the dairy, I pop a Lactaid.”

Reader No. 2:“I too have a reasonably extreme intolerance to lactose, which used to make it troublesome in eating places or when invited to dinner. I now discover I can eat virtually any dish that has a reasonable amount of butter, milk, cream, and many others. by first chewing one or two additional energy Lactaid tablets, present in any pharmacy or well being retailer. I’m wondering if she has ever tried them.

Lisi:It wasn’t clear to me what the letter author’s dietary points are. Lactose intolerance is straightforward to handle; an anaphylactic allergy, say to peanuts or shellfish, just isn’t.

FEEDBACKRelating to the rescue canine who doesn’t like its proprietor (Oct. 26):

“I’m a canine coach, canine walker, and many others. My suggestion is that she eliminates all perfumed self-care merchandise. Once I started working with canine, I removed all scented physique and hair care merchandise. Your pure scent is your calling card and identification on your canine.

“The brand new proprietor ought to get in contact with the rescue company to see if they’ve trainers who can work together with her and her canine.

“This sort of avoidance behaviour just isn’t pure for a canine. She ought to work with a coach, not take the canine’s angle personally and never pressure herself on the canine.

“I might additionally not attempt making direct eye contact with the canine or discuss to him, and many others. till they’re on higher phrases.”

Ellie Tesher and Lisi Tesher are recommendation columnists for the Star and primarily based in Toronto. Ship your relationship questions by way of e mail: [email protected].


Conversations are opinions of our readers and are topic to the Code of Conduct. The Star doesn’t endorse these opinions.

Supply hyperlink


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here